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freezers_wirWelcome to the Week in Review. Plenty of leftovers to go around!
(Thanksgiving I) Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions
You had one job, Detroit. Take down a demoralized and undermanned Bears team at home. This was served up like the turkey dinners waiting for you at home.
And you puked it down your collective shirts...
Ten penalties on the game, including three straight to kill your final drive.
A defense that couldn’t get the Bears off the field late to give their offense a chance to pull it out.
The conservative, risk-averse play calling, which failed to challenge a Bears defense down several key players.
By all accounts, Campbell is a good man and well liked by his players. But, like every coach in NFL history (outside of Hue Jackson), with a record this bad, that’s just not enough to justify Campbell getting a second year. Not without a MASSIVE surge in December. Which ain’t likely.
And Matt Nagy lives to fight another day...
Bears 16, Lions 14
(Thanksgiving II) Las Vegas Raiders @ Dallas Cowboys
Dear Cowboys Nation;
Shut the fuck up about the refs.
Yes, there were some heinous calls against the ‘Boys, especially in the first half.
But the refs didn’t cause Dak and the Offense to get stuck in second gear until the fourth quarter.
The refs didn’t cause Dak to badly misfire on a third-down pass in their only OT possession.
Or cause the Dallas coaching staff to stick with Zeke Elliot, despite him clearly being hindered by his nagging injuries, instead of leaning on Tony Pollard (who had the Cowboys’ sole, pre-4th highlight with his 100-yd kickoff TD)
Or cause Anthony Brown to commit PI #4 on the very next possession, setting up the Raiders for the winning kick.
Or allow the Raiders to hit deep shot after deep shot.
Not to mention, the Raiders got almost as many bad calls as Dallas.
THis is a team that was looked at as the NFC’s best a month ago, and suddenly they’ve lost three of four and looked horrible doing it.
I don’t wanna say it’s Mike McCarthy’s fault... But it’s totally Mike McCarthy’s fault. #AvoidTheRushFireMcCarthyNow
(and gg raiders i suppose)
Raiders 36, Cowboys 33 (OT)
(Thanksgiving III) Buffalo Bills @ New Orleans Saints
The Saints picked off Josh Allen twice, including his first Red Zone INT. That was the only thing they did right all game.
Josh Allen made up for the wo picks with 4 TDs on 260 yards. The Buffalo defense stifled the Saints offense all day (even if the effort cost them All-Pro CB Tre’Davious White, who left with a knee injury in the second quarter). Trevor Siemian seems to be regressing as the year goes on but without Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram and RT Ryan Ramczyk¹, he had little chance.
The Bag Squad abandoned the Superdome by the fourth quarter, leaving the crowd looking like a Buffalo pre-season game.
At this rate, Sean Payton might have no choice but to take the wraps off Taysom Hill and put him under center.
Bills 31, Saints 6
And I defy anyone to name anyone in the Saints’ active receiver corps.
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals
MIKE HILTON HAS HIS REVENGE!
Hilton, a CB who spent his first four seasons with the Steelers, returned one of two Big Ben INTs for a Pick 6. Joe Mixon rushed for a career-high 165 with 2 TDs to spearhead the utter demolition of Pittsburgh. Rapelisberger’s stats don’t look that bad, considering the score (24/41 for 263, 1 TD, plus the aforementioned picks). But considering that most of those were dinks and dunks and the run game was pretty much abandoned after the first quarter (Najee Harris had eight carries for 23 yards, leading the team in both stats).
The win puts the Bengals one back of Baltimore for the AFC North lead. They still have a home game with Baltimore and shelled them the last time they played in Week 8. With them looking iffy and Cleveland even moreso, the Bengals control their own divisional destiny.
The Steelers fall to 5-5-1, bottom of the division. Not technically eliminated yet (At this point, even the Lions are mathematically alive), but if they can’t get better QB play from somebody, this might well be Coach Omar Epps’ first sub .500 season.
Bengals 41, Steelers 10
New York Jets @ Houston Texans
Need I say more? Those are stat lines that would get you benched in 1971, let alone 2021
Jets 21, Texans 14
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Indianapolis Colts
Ironic that on a day where Leonard Fournette ran over, around and through the COlts defense, the Colts seemed to forget to use their own All-Pro candidate back (fresh off a career game, yet) for half the game. Fournette had 100 yards and three TDs (including the game-winner from 28 out) on 17 carries. Jonathan Taylor went 16-83 and one, but most of his damage was done in the first and fourth quarters
Carson Wentz threw for 306 and 3, but seem to throw two picks along with a lost fumble on a strip sack, just to keep up with The Dreamboat (226/1/1)
Just when you want to break out the shovel on the Bucs, they show signs of life...
Bucs 38, Colts 21
Atlanta Falcons @ Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jags clinched their 12th losing season since 2007, officially wasting Trevor Lawrence’s rookie year.
Future Most Improved Player Cordarelle Patterson returned from his one-game absence to spark the Falcon offense, rushing for 108 yards and 2 TDs on 18 carries.
Do you think Urban Meyer has cleaned out his desk already, or did he never really move in?
Falcons 21, Jags 14
Carolina Panthers @ Miami Dolphins
I’ve seen it said that Cam Newton’s (admittedly trash) performance Sunday (5/21, 92yds, 2 INTs) showed he was not the long-term answer at QB in Carolina. Frankly, if you were looking at the 32-year old QB with the injury history and never-that-great fundamentals as the long-term answer, you need better questions.
Like “Why the hell am I putting all my eggs in the Cam Newton basket?”
Seriously, if not for his rushing TD, Cam would’ve scored negative points in fantasy leagues that allowed lower than zero scores.
Frankly, they could’ve stuck with P.J. Walker, gotten the same results, and saved $10 mil.
Tua Tangyvanilla had a solid day (27/31 for 230, 1TD), but looked iffy until the defense handed him a comfortable lead. He remains locked in that hell zone, where he shows just enough promise that the Dolphins’ brass doesn’t want to risk cutting him right before he Gets Gud.
Much like NBA teams go full FOMO on passing on “the next Kobe¹,” NFL teams tend to either hang on to bad QBs far too long (Hello, Joey Harrington!) via Sunk Cost or cut QBs loose far too quickly in a FOMO-induced panic over the upcoming crop of QBs (Hi, Josh Rosen!²)
Dolphins 33, What’s Left Of Cam 10
And end up with far more Greg Odens and Anthony Bennetts than Kobes in the process.
You make me feel less sorry for you every time you appear in a game!
Tennessee Titans @ New England Patriots
The Titans cut Adrian Peterson loose this week.
It didn’t help in the slightest. Moving On.
Pats 36, Titans 13
Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants
The first game of the post-Clappy The Clown era looked pretty different, with new OC (and fellow failed HC) Freddie Kitchens taking what the Eagles defense gave him, rather than trying to force the ball to the playmakers then getting ludicrously conservative when that didn’t work. The defense carried the day, forcing three turnovers and making Jalen Hurts look like a WR playing QB (14/31 for 129, 3INTs).
AND THEY STILL PROBABLY LOSE IF JALEN REAGOR DOESN’T DROP TWO POTENTIAL GAME WINNERS ON THE SAME DRIVE!
Giants 13, Eagles 7
Los Angeles Chargers @ Denver Broncos
The Denver Broncos: They’re whoever you don’t want them to be.
Broncos 28, Chargers 13
Los Angeles Rams @ Green Bay Packers
He showed the world his ass, then he showed them his toe, then Narcissus McImmunized showed the world he’s still the MVP. Rodgers went 28 of 45 for 307 yards and 2 TDs, leading the way for the defending conference runners-up
Matt Stafford, the first man to throw for 5,000 yards in a season and not make the Pro Bowl¹, matched Rogers with 302 yards and 3 TDs. He also threw a Pick 6 for the third straight game, which didn’t help the cause.
The Rams have gone 0-3 since adding Von Miller (0-2 since OBJ) and being declared a super team and the Super Bowl favorites. They got plenty of time to get it together... But signs point to “no.”
Packers 36, Rams 28
And came within 33 yards in 2012 from being the only man to do it twice
Minnesota Vikings @ San Francisco 49ers
Among the indignities suffered by the Purple People Annoyers, Dalvin Cook is out (again) with a separated shoulder. Not that Cook probably helps here. Where the Niners are on, they can beat anybody. When things go south, they’re the Jaguars.
Fortunately for Minn., they’ve got the Lions next week. They could go re-sign Purple Judas and Robert Smith and still beat those chumps.
Unfortunately for San Fran, Deebo Samuel, their clear MVP, is out at least a week - probably two - with a groin injury. Elijah Mitchell stepped up in the run department here with 133 and a touch. Gonna need to keep that going at least through week 14, buddy!
Niners 34, Vikings 26
(Sunday Night) Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens
Lamar Jackson threw for 165 and four picks.
The Ravens still won.
Is RB8 that legit or are the Browns backsliding into full Brownsing mode? (25/75, I’d say)
And is it just me, or is Baker Mayfield trying to play his way out of that contract extension?
Ravens 16, Browns 10
(Monday Night) Seattle Seahawks @ Washington Football Teams
This game was 55 minutes of sleep aid, sprinkled with brief blasts of insanity. I wouldn't blame you if you missed. (WTF kicker Joey Slye leaving in the second quarter with a hamstring, forcing WTF to go for two on scores and use punter Tress Way on kickoff duty, Seattle DE Rasheem Green scooping up a blocked PAT and scoring a two-point conversion)
...Which was followed by five minutes of Refball madness.
WTF was forced to go for it on 4th and goal on the SEA 3 with less than three minutes left (No kicker, remember?)¹ TE Logan Thomas made the catch, but on review, it was ruled he didn’t have control before he went out of bounds.
Mr. Ciara leads a drive down the field for a touchdown, but the two-pt conversion attempt is intercepted²
Seattle pulls off a perfect onside kick attempt, only to have it called back for an illegal formation. Second attempt fails, WTF runs out the clock.
On a kickoff, at least two players must be lined up between the sideline and the numbers, and at least two additional players must be lined up between the numbers and the hashmarks. Only one kicking team player is between the hashes and the numbers: illegal formation. Great catch pic.twitter.com/8yMbYoI32S
— Fᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ Zᴇʙʀᴀs (@footballzebras) November 30, 2021
Somehow, I think the Bucs or the Cowboys don’t get hit with that call...
WTF 17, Seahawks 15
Frankly, I give Way a shot at a chip shot.
Ruled incomplete on review. At that point, why bother?
